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There were a lot of fights and court dates and angry text messages and emails and battles up until my son was 5 years old and we finally came up with a system that worked and we could agree on. He may not have a good response to that question. It's even fair game to ask "Did anyone get in trouble or do anything funny today? " I'm going to delete the other two duplicate threads, but if you would like me to move this thread to another section then I'm happy to do that. Well done for keeping a level head through all of that. Unfortunately, as you won't contemplate further action, enforcement or a Specific Issue Order, the there is little you can do. As clovis has suggested it may be worth sending your son a letter, if only to remind him he is in your thoughts and you love him. Or "What do the kids actually do at recess? " You love the fact that she's excited about your partner, but let's face it: you feel like you might as well not exist. You're not exactly excited about kicking a soccer ball in the yard or pushing your child on a swing. Parents become part of the problem when there is no plan in place to help resolve these issues. When you're hanging out with your child, and they're feeling comfortable, resist the urge to probe.
Parents often get impatient when their child doesn't take their invitation or become excited when he does. Hi recombinantsocks, Yes it was a very trying time, it did feel as though I was fighting battles on many fronts as I also had to deal with my son's diagnosis process (and the challenges that presents) and the subsequent issues he was having with his education. And if dad is the only one willing to do this with him, he likely wants to spend more time with him and associates him as the "fun parent. Walking away is not an option. She doesn't feel she can pretend he hasn't done anything, as again, our other children are witness to this unfortunate event. Even if you "know" that this shouldn't matter, hurtful feelings still course through you any time your child prefers other people over you. Yes, your smart kid may figure out what you're up to.
Alternatively, he may express his desire to repair your relationship, but he doesn't know how to do it. I just think maybe not giving my ex the attention she hopes for, not making a big deal out of it, and hoping that my son will get bored and decide to come back to me (who also has a bit of the same attention seeking nature as my ex wife). Just bear in mind that this isn't coming from your son, it's being projected onto him by his mother. Normally, I'm a fan of doing chores while the kids are awake. "I don't remember. " Published on 12, July, 2020. Why Your Son Wants Nothing to Do With You. Don't obsess about the pile of dishes or the clutter in the bedroom. That is incredibly hurtful @HurtingnSoCal, and I can only imagine how painful that would have been for you. Trying to deal with a child and husband with undiagnosed autism is also likely to be very stressful so things may have been perceived more critically than under normal conditions. His mum said our son didn't want to see me & that's the end of it. Ask a question like "Hey, if a reporter interviewed you, what would you tell them are the best things about fourth grade?
I wonder would it help to build the relationship up from the start again. Avoid overnights for a while, have a few times 1 to 1 with him, reassure him that you love him and that you are his dad too. My wife is extremely angry, as she is upset and hates seeing me and her two children upset by the fact he hasn't arrived when they were looking forward to seeing their big brother, but mostly upset by how disrespectful he is being after everything we try to do for him. To accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Your child's teachers may have insight into all these things; a new perspective may be just what you need to help you break through to your kid. You use a negative tone with the child (you are not going home). I don't want him to grow up thinking when you are expected to do something and don't want to you just run away and ignore that person. That's your chance to finally eat your meal uninterrupted. However, that could be a painful process if you find out it is just you. Be careful not to force him to talk to you because that will make future attempts to talk more difficult. Wouldn't you rather kick off your shoes and relax before giving your spouse the blow-by-blow of what happened at work? He does not listen to you at all. Your son's actions don't mean that he wants nothing to do with you. The most recent issue was that she had bought my son a phone, but wouldn't let him bring it with him to keep in contact with friends.
He has never in the whole 12 years been scared of me and I have never once given him reason to be. Rather than seeing it as your child's rejection, see it as a way for her to spend more time with other adults. I tried to convince him but his mum came on the phone saying he is terrified of me! One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. Let him know that if he wants to leave the conversation at any point, then he can. Some times, we need each and every one of tthose dogs to get us through the hard times we've faced. Or 'Sounds as if that could be pretty upsetting. ' When my son was 9, my father passed away, and this broke me. So pretty much out of the blue I get a letter from my ex wife and son saying he doesn't want to follow the court order and wants to pick and choose when he sees me.
You can use this quiz to determine if that is the case: Signs Your Son Wants Nothing to Do With You. The idea is to let him know that you really do get what he's trying to tell you. " Soooo my plan: - say nothing to my ex wife or son - keep my head down and let the dust settle. I haven't seen nor spoken to my son for nearly 3 months.
So keep your ears open when you're alone with him on a car ride or working on a project together at the kitchen table, " says Zelinger. Who doesn't embellish or rearrange the truth at one time or another? " Perhaps you could stipulate that the children aren't involved in the initial stages of mediation so that discussion could be had with the mother exclusively. This is tricky as I live 3 hours away, only see them 1 weekend a month and during school holidays. I have 2 children, a boy 7 who is high functioning autistic and a girl 4 who is suspected autistic. Therefore, it will take equally as long, if not more, to repair it. Approach your child's unique circumstances and psychology in weekly 90-minute Parent Coaching Sessions with a Healthy Gamer Coach.
I just feel very lost and drained by it all. Husband constantly arguing with teen son. For 12 consecutive weeks, participants get access to a workshop and Q&A with Dr. K and weekly support groups led by Healthy Gamer Coaches. However, likely, it won't happen for quite a few conversations.
I can't imagine what you're going through. This has been going on for 6 years, with 4 court orders, which she has always tried to alter. Toddler More Attached to Grandmother? Are you getting outside much and going for a walk or exercising in some way? The child's behavior is simply a projection of what both parents are feeling- tension, stress, frustration, resistance to change, the resistance to move forward and deal with the current situation. She was not willing to budge on giving me any more time other than the already agreed upon every other weekend. 02-24-2021 06:41 PM. We've worked with thousands of gamers, and we know we can help you, too. The kids will forget you're there! "