If in fact your relationship is moving in a good direction than the distance might actually bring you closer together, since it will require your fiance to make a greater effort to let you know that you are important to him. Have you voiced your concerns to your fiancee? I didn't see my parents much when we were nearby, though we all get along just fine. However I know I won't be able to travel often and easily and I dread leaving behind the wonderful connections and community I have built here. Being close to family also means more frequent visits from people you care about, which can lead to more quality time and stronger familial bonds. Living in a place you love vs living near family. I do love it out here, but it's not like I hate the East, and my priorities seem to be changing a bit. Con: Being subject to surprise visits. We are planning on getting married next year sometime in the summer. My husband will be graduating from law school next year and we're trying to decide where we want to finally settle. It is a nice place to live mostly (tho allergies are killing us) but we have no family to speak of here. We were both moving for the same reason.
Or should we sell everything, buy an RV and just travel the country? If he seems fairly stable it might be that he is now used to that situation and suddenly hurling him into a situation where you are all living together, plus in a strange place, might affect him as much. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law, for instance, literally live across the street from each other. Living in a place you love vs living near family history. Living far apart became sadder as we started our families. We just recently send a digital photo frame to my parents to be placed smack dab in the middle of their house so they can see new photos of the kids every day. The status of your relationship on paper is pretty irrelevant really. If your day falls apart, having extended family nearby means there's always someone in your corner who can lend a hand, whether you need last-minute child care, or free roadside assistance! My husband and I have been living in the Bay Area for our whole relationship (8 1/2 years) and are DYING to leave. We have roots that reach far out in so many aspects of our lives.
Five and a half years ago our family made the move from sunny Southern California to the rainy Pacific Northwest. Like brothers and sisters everywhere, Audrey and Owen were apt to argue and fight. Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? But I bet he could have gotten a job on this coast if he had wanted to. Our three locations — in Holladay and Salt Lake City, Utah, and in Denver — are thoughtfully located so that family members living in the area can easily be a short drive to their loved ones. Boundaries are essential to any healthy relationship, familial or otherwise. Time enough for that when you get old and need family to care for you. But they live in a city and State that I do not care for. Living in a place you love vs living near family and kids. What do you and your spouse feel is the best option for your family? Having said that, I can't decide what is more important still. Should you start or should you go? Like grandma's free babysitting or watching your nieces' ballet recitals, small, seemingly insignificant things can become major sources of homesickness once you move away. No one wants to uproot their life only to find that they regret moving closer to family.
Nope, i moved where I wanted to go, if my family wants to move there with me, all good with me. It sounds like he has had a hard time finding work, but just because he found one thing (and a short term thing at that) doesn't mean he has to take it and stop looking for something that actually meets the needs of those he loves. They aren't in on the tight knit cousins crew. Living in a place you love vs living near family dollar. He is a go with the flow type person.
Overall, it is beautiful. Many residents' families find it convenient enough to visit every weekend or plan weekly lunch dates. Some families who live close to each other don't have as much contact as we do with our kids living many miles away. So basically, what would you choose? This is pure balderdash. And I absolutely love it! Just be wary of what you commit to.
If he decides to go and you stay, then I would advise reunions as often as were able to get together every couple months and that helped. Beautiful, growing, developing? Learn about how you will reduce the stress of moving house, whilst at the same time potentially save thousands in the process! It might be that he is fine with the separation so he can focus on fellowship and then will move back here after fellowship. What is more important? Living near familiy or a better living environment? - General Education Discussion Board. It's nice (to straight-up wonderful) most of the year! I can relate to your dilemma about whether to stay in the Bay Area or move to the L. area to be closer to your family. And another couple of years later my brother and his family moved here too. Additional giveaways are planned.
But we needed to escape the stress and move to a more relaxed lifestyle where we spent more quality time together. Having time for ourselves and for our immediate family is a priority. For the first time in so many years, we could actually run into each other places! We do not currently live together and our relationship has been rocky, to put it lightly (we've been in counseling for over year). My husband's career was very much centered where we'd lived, so moving meant a big job change for him. Living Where You Love vs. Living Near the Grandkids in Retirement. You don't really mention what your relationship with your ex is like, other than to say that you're in agreement about shared custody.
Just another stressed out mom! Thanks to CORT, you can find low-commitment, all-inclusive furniture rental packages to help you decorate an entire apartment. My parents still live in the house I grew up in. ) DH and I independently moved to the West when we were in our mid-twenties. In the end, that is what's best for your children.
You have even more pros and cons since you are already feeling uncertain about the relationship. My parents had my sister first and then two years and one month later came by brother and two years and one month later came me…the surprise. And the truth is, being surrounded by quality relationships makes us happier in the long run. Increased sense of obligation: If you live near family, you may feel obliged to take part in family events and visit family more often than if you live far away. There are so many wonderful benefits to moving to be near family that I won't be able to put it all into words, but here are a few of the things we most enjoy. Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 10-24-2021 at 11:47 PM.. 10-25-2021, 04:44 AM. L. has a vibrant arts scene, fabulous restaurants, great public radio and some really wonderful neighborhoods in which to live. Sometimes I think – perhaps the hours of quality time we get on visits and connecting by phone and Facetime out number the hours I would actually have with them if we lived near each other.
I go around and around on this one. A long distance relationship is very difficult, and requires much soul-searching. For many people, moving back home to be near family would mean moving back to the area they grew up. My only friends are at a job I have had for a few years but it took several years of living here and working in painful situations before I got that job. Since moving here and starting our own family, we have been heavily recuiting all family members to move up here. And i had never NEVER gotten to pick where to live. Location: Charlotte/Mebane, NC and Suitland, MD. Anyone have words of wisdom for me' Thanks so much, Julie. We would move to Great Britain in a heartbeat but we couldn't afford to live there and dh couldn't easily telecommute from there (technically, dh can work from anywhere, tho obviously being in the town of his office is a bit easier in regards to meetings and such). Community is a strong bond that's often strengthened by shared faith. I keep thinking if we were married, I would definitely move, but because we are not, I wonder if moving is worth it for me to totally uproot myself (and our son) into a world of uncertainty. When you live near your children, you can spend unlimited time with the grandchildren and babysit when needed.
On top of that, he threw himself into his work and seemed to have very little time for me. If OP expects that, then they're selfish. But for what's its worth, I moved to the west coast from the east because of a job when my kids were 5 and 20 months.