How thoroughly England is groomed! The tougher neighbor is the gainer by these acts of kindness; the generosity of a sea-sick sufferer in giving away the delicacies which seemed so desirable on starting is not ranked very high on the books of the recording angel. There is only one way to get rid of them; that which an old sea-captain mentioned to me, namely, to keep one's self under opiates until he wakes up in the harbor where he is bound. Knowing as a secret crossword. I got along well enough as soon as I landed, and have had no return of the trouble since I have been back in my own home. I see men as trees walking. "
Our wooden houses are a better kind of wigwam; the marble palaces are artificial caverns, vast, resonant, chilling, good to visit, not desirable to live in, for most of us. I was off on my first long vacation for half a century, and had a right to my whims and fancies. On Saturday, May 8th, we first caught a glimpse of the Irish coast, and at half past four in the afternoon wo reached the harbor of Queenstown. I determined, if possible, to see the Derby of 1886, as I had seen that of 1834. The horse I was about to see win was not unworthy of being named with the renowned champion of my earlier day. He showed us various fine animals, some in their stalls, some outside of them. Everyone knows that crossword. It costs the household hardly any trouble or expense. If at home we wince before any official with a sense of blighted inferiority, it is by general confession the clerk at the hotel office. It never failed to give at least temporary relief, but nothing enabled me to sleep in my state-room, though I had it all to myself, the upper bed being removed.
The clearing the course of stragglers, and the chasing about of the frightened little dog who had got in between the thick ranks of spectators, reminded me of what I used to see on old " artillery election " days. The seats we were to have were full, and we had to be stowed where there was any place that would hold us. As for the intellectual condition of the passengers, I should say that faces were prevailingly vacuous, their owners half hypnotized, as it seemed, by the monotonous throb and tremor of the great sea-monster on whose back we were riding. I apologized for my error. " Through the kindness of Mrs. P-, we found a young lady who was exactly fitted for the place. We left Boston on the 29th of April, and reached New York on the 29th of August, four months of absence in all, of which nearly three weeks were taken up by the two passages, one week was spent in Paris, and the rest of the time in England. This was the winner of the race I saw so long ago. After lunch, recitations, songs, etc. After the race we had a luncheon served us, a comfortable and substantial one, which was very far from unwelcome. The moral is that one should avoid being a duke and living in a palace, unless he is born to it, which he had perhaps better not be, — that is, if he has his choice in the robing chamber where souls are fitted with their earthly garments. English people have queer notions about iced-water and ice-cream. " So in London, but in a week it all seemed natural enough. I asked him, at last, if he were not So and So. "
Ellen Terry was as fascinating as ever. After this all was easily arranged, and I was cared for as well as if I had been Mr. Phelps himself. I hope the reader will see why I mention these facts. When I landed in Liverpool, everything looked very dark, very dingy, very massive, in the streets I drove through. A cup of tea at the right moment does for the virtuous reveller all that Falstaff claims for a good sherris-sack, or at least the first half of its " twofold operation: " " It ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapors which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery and delectable shapes, which delivered over to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. I have never used any other means of shaving from that day to this. Hsent his carriage, and we drove in the Park.
The luncheon is a very convenient affair: it does not require special dress; it is informal; it is soon over, and may be made light or heavy, as one chooses. Rand myself soon made the acquaintance of the chief of the stable department. The first morning at sea revealed the mystery of the little round tin box. I. I BEGIN this record with the columnar, self-reliant capital letter to signify that there is no disguise in its egoisms. The grand stand to which I was admitted was a little privileged republic.
Poor Archer, the king of the jockeys! A few years since Mr. Gladstone was induced by Lord Granville and Lord Wolverton to run down to Epsom on the Derby day. In a word, I wished a short vacation, and had no thought of doing anything more important than rubbing a little rust off and enjoying myself, while at the same time I could make my companion's visit somewhat pleasanter than it would be if she went without me. But he had not the " manière de prince, " or he would never have used that word. If there is any one accomplishment specially belonging to princes, it is that of making the persons they meet feel at ease. — They are off, — not yet distinguishable, at least to me.
Something led me to think I was mistaken in the identity of this gentleman. If one had as many stomachs as a ruminant, he would not mind three or four serious meals a day, not counting the tea as one of them. "It is asserted in the columns of a contemporary that Plenipotentiary was absolutely the best horse of the century. " Our friends, several of them, had a pleasant way of sending their carriages to give us a drive in the Park, where, except in certain permitted regions, the common hired vehicles are not allowed to enter. " A very cordial and homelike reception at this great house, where a couple of hours were passed most agreeably.
Rumor credits Dr. Holmes, " so The Field says, " with desiring mentally to compare his two Derbies with each other. " No man can find himself over the abysses, the floor of which is paved with wrecks and white with the bones of the shrieking myriads whom the waves have swallowed up, without some thought of the dread possibilities hanging over his fate. The most conspicuous object was a man on an immensely tall pair of stilts, stalking about among the crowd. The glowing green of everything strikes me: green hedges in place of our rail-fences, always ugly, and our rude stone-walls, which are not wanting in a certain look of fitness approaching to comeliness, and are really picturesque when lichen-coated, but poor features of landscape as compared to these universal hedges.
Let us go down into the cabin, where at least we shall not see them. No offence, " he answered. If we had attempted it, we should have found no time for anything else. When my friends asked me why I did not go to Europe, I reminded them of the fate of Thomas Parr. Not the sound of the rushing winds, nor the sight of the foam-crested billows; not the sense of the awful imprisoned force which was wrestling in the depths below me. It was close to Piccadilly, and closer still to Bond Street. I recall Birket Foster's Pictures of English Landscape, — a beautiful, poetical series of views, but hardly more poetical than the reality. After my return from the race we went to a large dinner at Mr. Phelps's house, where we met Mr. Browning again, and the Lord Chancellor Herschel, among others. There was still another great and splendid reception at Lady G-'s, and a party at Mrs. S-'s, but we were both tired enough to be willing to go home after what may be called a pretty good day's work at enjoying ourselves. I think it probable that I had as much enjoyment in forming one of the great mob in 1834 as I did among the grandeurs in 1886, but the last is pleasanter to remember and especially to tell of. Mr. Gladstone, a strong man for his years, is reported as saying that he is too old to travel, at least to cross the ocean, and he is younger than I am, — just four months, to a day, younger.
But to those who live, as most of us do, in houses of moderate dimensions, snug, comfortable, which the owner's presence fills sufficiently, leaving room for a few visitors, a vast marble palace is disheartening and uninviting. With the first sight of land many a passenger draws a long sigh of relief. All this was tempting enough, but there was an obstacle in the way which I feared, and, as it proved, not without good reason. I will not try to enumerate, still less to describe, the various entertainments to which we were invited, and many of which we attended. Among our ship's company were a number of family relatives and acquaintances. Perhaps some coeval of mine may think it was a rather youthful idea to go to the race. But the story adds interest to the lean traditions of our somewhat dreary past, and it is hardly worth while to disturb it.
Nothing is more comfortable, nothing, I should say, more indispensable, than a hot-water bag, — or rather, two hot-water bags; for they will burst sometimes, as we found out, and a passenger who has become intimate with one of these warm bosom friends feels its loss almost as if it were human. House full of pretty things. The afternoon tea is almost a necessity in London life. I had to fall back on my reserves, and summoned up memories half a century old to gain the respect and win the confidence of the great horse-subduer. The Derby has always been the one event in the racing year which statesmen, philosophers, poets, essayists, and littérateurs desire to see once in their lives. Among the professional friends I found or made during this visit to London, none were more kindly attentive than Dr. Priestley, who, with his charming wife, the daughter of the late Robert Chambers, took more pains to carry out our wishes than we could have asked or hoped for.