Harmful words are like nails which stab people's hearts and leave marks even when they have been removed. In a couple of weeks, as he learned to control his behavior, the number of nails hammered daily gradually went down. It's not until we reach adulthood that we realize the long term damage our words and actions can have on one another. Several days passed and the boy was able to pull out most of the nails from the fence. And there came a day when she was not angry and that day there were no nails on the fence. Friends and loved ones are a very rare jewel, indeed.
"You have done very well, my son, " he smiled, "but look at the holes in the fence. Despite being an angry boy, he was a determined and focused person, so he carried out the instructions carefully each day. His parents were unhappy with his bad temper. Phone: (562)438-8077 | for permission to reprint, email: All material copyright ©2017 Tina Tessina. When they were standing near the fence the father said: "I am very proud of you son, but look at the holes in the fence. A fence: A story with a great moral... (author unknown). Several days passed and the boy was able to pull out most of the nails from the fence, except a few which had been too hard to remove. He scolded kids, neighbors and even his friends due to anger.
Whenever she gets angry she does not see who is in front of him and says whatever she wants. The basic message of "The Nail in the Fence" is the same: words can wound, so use them with care. Forgiving is learning to stop being angry and harboring resentment towards someone who had wronged us, whereas forgetting is when we determine to repress what happened and move on. He was even more excited this time to share this new achievement with his father. He told his father the news and the father suggested that the boy should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control. The fence will never.
It doesn't have to be forgetting. You see, the nails are like your bad words, horrible temper and poor manners. Words are more painful than physical abuse. He gave the boy a bag of nails and a hammer and said, "Every time you feel like lashing out at someone or having a tantrum, I give you permission to pound a nail into the backyard fence. Running to the fence in the backyard and hammering in a nail every time he lost his temper. And you just might find that life begins to feel a lot nicer - because people aren´t angry at you anymore. Sometimes, the catalyst can be part of effective strategies. Think about a cut or wound in your skin: Your body starts to heal immediately, coagulating your blood to stop the loss, then developing a scab, under which new skin grows, until the scab is no longer needed, and flakes off, leaving a red mark, which fades, until there is little or no evidence of the wound. His father told him, "What do you see on the fense?
However, when we find ourselves in those times of great frustration or anger, we must be sure that whatever we say or do in those moments won't, like the nails hammered in the fence, end up leaving permanent holes in the one's we love and in relationships important to us that we will never be able never undo. It's the same thing when you say or do something hurtful to someone else; you can try to take it back later, but the damage remains. So, naturally, he had few. Let your partner know how you feel. Use words for good purposes. After a while, the boy pulled most of the nails. Again, you cannot pull out a few nails. And in that case, we will be able to look at the "clean" side of the fence — making it easier to forgive. "A man said to the Prophet, 'Give me advice. ' Are you angry at someone? Finally his Father came up with an idea. She began to do what her teacher told her to do. This story is probably not new and you might have read or heard it before. Therefore, the number of nails hitting the fence gradually decreased day by day.
Lend an ear, they share words of praise. I have plucked all the nails! More stories: And still more stories:. In many cases people will forgive you, especially if they have some history with you and trust you. The father appreciated him and asked him pointing to a hole, "What do you see there? His father admired his effort, but then replied, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. "When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM.
But avoidance isn't always a great strategy... especially when it is blocking the attainment of something beneficial. Make sure you read all the way down to. The little boy found it amusing and accepted the task. He told his son that whenever he lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence. But he was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. My website also includes a thought, a verse, and a fact for each week. Unless a true apology, with evidence of real change, is offered, then you must stand up for yourself, and tell the hurtful person that you won't tolerate the behavior again (and be willing to act on it. Some nails cannot even be pulled out. Nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail. Unkind words cause lasting damage. When you say or do hurtful things out of anger, they leave a scar just like this. One day, his father decided to teach him to control himself, so he gave him a bucket of nails and said to him that, every time he loses his temper, he should hammer a nail into the fence. He was determined to reduce the number of nails hammered and on the second day, he hammered 20 nails! No matter how many times you forgive them after the anger goes away, the wounds in their hearts are always there like this".
It can hurt people more than a physical wound. Often the habit of reacting angrily is just that - a habit you learned when you were young and haven´t questioned since. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to. And with a few nails which can't be removed no matter how hard I tried. "