In a study of more than 3, 700 U. S. What effect could abortion have on my relationship with him. married or cohabitating couples who'd had at least one pregnancy, researchers found that those who'd suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth were more likely to break up in subsequent years than couples who had a baby. Research into the emotional ramifications of abortion on relationships has focused on the attachment style of the partner. I was on the Pill, so it was totally unexpected. Children may also feel that abortions were performed because of them, or even to punish them. Find a safe space to process your feelings.
Many men hold strong convictions that abortion is the destruction of human life ñ their child to be specific, and the sense of powerlessness and emasculation during the decision-making process can be staggering. Rather than reaching out to a network of family and friends for help in formulating a plan to adjust her life for the arrival of a baby, the enticement of a secret, inexpensive abortion presents an incredible escape from present pain. How Our Abortion Changed Our Relationship - Real Abortion Stories. Studies have also shown that children with aborted siblings struggle with the feeling that they don't deserve to be alive. "How will I ever get back to church and the God I once knew……or I never knew God, but I sure would like to know if He can forgive me and if I can get to heaven someday. " I will never forget the poignant vacancy in one woman's eyes as she sadly confessed a disturbing train of thought: "I always thought my children were the most prized possessions we had; now I catch myself looking at them while they are playing and thinking bizarre things like, "You were the lucky ones. For men, arguments over future children increase by nearly 200% after a partner's abortion.
"We are still together, " she says. I have a friend who had an abortion before we met. Or are you anxious about how your decision to abort might impact your relationship? Max became pregnant at age 17.
The researchers say their study, published in the journal Pediatrics, is the first national study to show that couples who suffer a pregnancy loss are at increased risk of a breakup. NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Studies have shown that married couples' risk of divorce can go up after the death of a child, and now new findings suggest that relationships may also become more fragile after a miscarriage or stillbirth. The body of this early research combined with clinical observations and anecdotal evidence, presents a strong case for more attention given to pre-abortion counseling for both the woman and the man particularly in situations where the couple intends to continue the relationship. 3 Another study found that only 19. Rather, more often than not, it has severe negative impacts on a woman's relationships—not with her partner, but with her other family members and children as well. Will Having an Abortion Affect My Relationships. Indeed, studies have found that around 8% of girls who told their parents about the pregnancy, and 18% whose parents found out themselves, were outright forced to have an abortion against their will. Even with second trimester and later procedures that risk is only 0. I went to therapy, but they just wanted to talk about my parents.
When my second period didn't come, I knew something was very wrong. Here, six people share how their abortion impacted their relationships. So we got a bunch of tests the next day and still were both like, "Is that the line? But the resistance with which his sexual overtures will usually be met can instead provoke feelings of further emasculation and failure. Being an ob-gyn, I see bad things happen on a regular basis. "The last thing a couple wants to hear after a loss is that they might lose their marriage, too. We normally use contraception but we got drunk one night and had unprotected sex. Natural hormonal changes that occur in your body during pregnancy are affected by an abortion. You can share facts about abortion and its impact on relationships with other people. While some of the signs and symptoms of pregnancy are similar, women who've had an abortion should take their time to begin tracking ovulation. Somehow it was like attending a funeral, but there was no one to mourn our loss with me…I spent the summer at my parent's home. What percentage of couples break up after an abortion treatment. Women tend to keep an emotional distance with others.
Max, Knoxville, Tennessee. When girls are pressured to abort, they also experience a major betrayal of trust. Our Standards: The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles. She would not be here if we hadn't lost AJ. What percentage of couples break up after an abortion is wrong. They may be in the process of ending a marriage, and don't want the birth of a child to complicate the decision or cloud their emotional resolve to leave. Emotionally is a different story. Yamani Hernandez serves as the executive director of the National Network of Abortion Funds (NNAF), an organization that builds the capacity of member organizations to support people navigating financial and logistical barriers to abortion access. When I was 20, I was sure I didn't want kids. With abortion the baby dies and the mother is psychologically damaged. "Men are much more involved in decisions involving birth control and pregnancy as well as termination these days, " says Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood. By the time they finally sought marital therapy, both were experiencing a deep alienation from each other.
Young children generally struggle to distinguish their understanding of an unborn child from a child already born. A lack of regular menstruation can lead to early signs of pregnancy, such as fatigue and difficulty sleeping. It's difficult to identify the impact of abortion until you've been involved in a healing ministry or are trying to figure out what you've gone through. 18 In another study of 65 women receiving prenatal care, the most consistent predictors of anxiety throughout the pregnancy were the woman's need for emotional support and her satisfaction with the relationship with her partner. A woman is instinctively geared to make decisions, based upon the anticipated effect upon those with whom she is in relationship (especially her immediate family). I was worried but hopeful. Do couples break up after abortion. It doesn't really matter. For children, abortion is inherently difficult to cope with, whether it happened before or after they were born. Perhaps you have struggled with some of these questions as well.
We got married in June 2008. We Had an Abortion | Couple Plays Truth or Drink | Cut. While the couple broke up amicably as they both moved away for college, Max says the relationship flourished because of their abortion experience. Regardless of how their pregnancies ended, couples were more likely to split up if they were living together rather than married, if the mother was young, and if the relationship was less than one year old. You may be surprised to learn that you can get pregnant after a miscarriage without even having a "normal" menstrual period.
I got mad at him a lot that summer. Dave: We waited a couple of months and then got pregnant again. It was outrageously complicated. "It's part of a generational shift. " Cindy: I went to the eighth-grade dance with Frisco, but then we didn't see each other again until 10 years later. Options for healing. One of my clients expressed it this way during a taped session: "After the abortion two years ago, it seemed like something turned off inside me. My doctor confirmed the pregnancy on Wednesday, and we made an appointment for that Saturday at Planned Parenthood. Moreover, the emotional strain of the experience is often difficult to bear. It damages the lives of everyone involved. I definitely felt like it wasn't fair.
Everyone involved has experienced trauma in some way, and trauma can interfere with healthy relationships. The years that follow are spent trying to ignore or anesthetize the relentless message and fervently hoping that no one will discover her true self. Data from Guttmacher also shows that 14 percent are married, and another 31 percent were living with a partner when they became pregnant. I didn't even think I wanted kids then, and Chris agreed. We hope this article has been helpful.