What happens if in ten years you have a child with someone else and realise what you've missed and neglected to do for the one you're having now? You might feel you have to suppress your own emotions so you can be there for your girlfriend, but this will only result in more pain and frustration in the long run. While reading through, think about what might be best for (1) the developing baby, (2) your relationship with your girlfriend, (3) your girlfriend and her life plans, and (4) you and your life plans. 5Look at after-abortion resources together. While this is always an option, it's one we hope you wouldn't consider. Relationship After Abortion: My Partner Doesn’t Want to Talk. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I don't want her to make this decision without me. She said she isn't ready for kids yet, that she wants to make sure we're financially well off and have a more permanent home first (right now we live in an apartment), plus we both work full time jobs.
Read up on what to expect during and an after abortion so you can understand what your girlfriend will be going through and encourage her to recover safely. I can't look at him in the same way anymore, and I don't feel the love for him that I once did. Many have agreed they don't want children; few have a discussion on what they'll actually do if pregnancy happens unexpectedly. I don't want my girlfriend to have an abortion legally. We're not going to lie to you, these conversations are not going to be easy, especially if you're still living with your parents and/or are financially dependent on them. While courts have largely treated fathers' rights in abortion decisions as secondary to those of the mother, other means exist for fathers to influence the decision, namely, through private agreements.
If your girlfriend still lives with her parents and/or is financially dependent, you'll need to have a conversation with her parents (and yours! ) You have as much right as the expectant mother to ask for help and guidance when deciding how to approach the pregnancy. Get Legal Help with Your Questions About Fathers' Rights and Abortion.
It is probably best to filter what you want to say before you actually speak to your girlfriend, just to make sure you don't say anything you might regret later. Be sure to listen to her during these conversations. You can also contact Jonathan, our Men's Ministry Director, at or at his direct line, 423-602-9991. Will you feel proud of this decision in 10 or 20 years? It's not a problem to me at all. Fathers' Rights and Abortion. Know the Reasons Behind Your Feelings. I will honestly be devastated.
End the romantic relationship but both parent? We would encourage you both to have a free STI test to make sure you aren't infected, even if you've only been with each other. The birth – if you are on good terms and plan to continue the relationship past the pregnancy, this is something you should consider attending. When you come to Choices, we will share accurate, medical information on abortion and answer any questions you may have about the abortion pill, surgical abortion, and your other pregnancy options like parenting and adoption. If you are the one that doesn't want to talk about the abortion, but your partner does, your feelings are valid. This allows you to make the final decision of whether or not to parent without all the pressure you are feeling now. Don't worry, a lot of people feel that way (even people who planned to have a child! When you finally have the conversation, here are some tips to helping your partner open up and be willing to talk: Regardless of how the conversation goes, Avail NYC is here with after-abortion support group if you want help processing your emotions. I don't want my girlfriend to have an abortion clinic. That means neither person can force the other to make a specific decision because this puts tension on a relationship. More than likely, your partner has many of the same concerns that you do. Even if your girlfriend says that you don't need to join her at the surgical appointment, most women report they felt deeply alone when no one went to the procedure with them. Do I have a job that can pay to support my child either through direct parenting or child support?
Caring For Yourself. You know your girlfriend well; you might want to wait a few days or a week to talk, or she might want to discuss your feelings sooner than that. Is it a violation of paternal rights, if that notification does not take place? My Girlfriend Has An Abortion Scheduled: What Do I Do. Similar to couples therapy, our trained advocates can help you communicate better before the procedure so you're on the same page going into the procedure and can grow closer together rather than begin to grow apart.
But what do you do in this situation?