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If video games are leading your son, helping him overcome it does not have to be a one-person endeavor. Once you limit your child's ability to build a relationship and love both parents — you are creating an unhealthy situation. Your son will feel emotionally obliged to follow through with his mums wishes. He is ashamed about using gaming and technology as an escape and not having the "strength" to face his problems. I feel trapped, as I don't want to go against my beliefs and not be a good parent and not reprimand my son for basically lying and treating me in a disrespectful manner, I have 3 other children that are watching this, and I don't want any of them to ever think there is no repercussions for bad behaviour. That drives me a bit crazy because of my mobility issues and also because I'm not an exercise person. Your toddler can see a change in you and will likely respond to your affection in a positive way. I see you have duplicated posts in the welcome and behaviour management sections, which have the same content as you have posted here. My son doesn't want to see me first. So my relationship with my son started to deteriorate from this point on. He locks himself in his room after coming back from school.
Are there any support workers or professionals involved with your son that you can talk to? Your son may not feel comfortable confiding in anyone, including his parents. As I said we had a wonderful time over the summer holidays (when I last saw him) and did lots of things and he never once even appeared slightly timid or nervous. Its a hard place to be for you but you're his dad and he will want to see you again. You use a negative tone with the child (you are not going home). ReachOut Parents - My son wont talk to me anymore - Parents forum. The less bound he feels in that conversation, the easier it will be for both of you to connect. Make funny faces and act like a goofball. I am extremely disappointed by this behaviour (although it is similar to the approach his mother has always had - whenever she hasn't wanted to do something her first line is always 'I'm scared or she scares me, or you scare me' so I know my son has probably seen it work far to many times with his mother). It happened on several occasions ranging between a day and a week, before being stopped for over a month, at which point I took legal action. I just feel very lost and drained by it all. Trying to deal with a child and husband with undiagnosed autism is also likely to be very stressful so things may have been perceived more critically than under normal conditions.
Then, can you imagine her still kicking and screaming because she only wants dad to play with her? I hoped I was bringing him up to at least treat people with respect, especially me and his mother, and I have always encouraged him to talk to me about things. And if the genie could erase three things that really worry you, which three things would you choose? " From a personal point of view I am much happier, confident and relaxed than I was. How to Deal with a Child Who Cries Over Everything. Sorry for the long rambling post, I just needed to get that off my chest, so thank you for reading if you did. Moreover, when he responds to your questions, start by summarizing what he said and how he must be feeling when saying that. Does Your Son Want Nothing to do with you? | Healthy Gamer. Faber says that some kids need to ponder the question for a few minutes before deciding what to share. You are controlling and are not letting the child voice their opinion. Mediation could be the next step, but as you have mentioned, that hasn't been easy because the children were there. What are the triggers for his behavior?
For 10 years I phoned him regularly. It hasn't been easy seeing my son as he isn't keen on moving from one house to another but overall things haven't been too bad. You are not asking the child about his/her feelings. What to do when mother won't let you see your child. I thought it would be better if we work together & try to get all the help we can get for our son. You tell the child to keep a secret from the other parent. When Your Child Doesn't Want to Go to School Your Child Won't Tell What's Wrong "Her grades are plummeting and she seems so unhappy after school every day. Husband constantly arguing with teen son. I don't think him not wanting to/choosing not to spend the weekend with me is bad behaviour - what I am upset and disappointed at is how he refused to tell me, left me waiting at the school for 30 minutes worrying and has told his mother he is 'scared' of me.
I ended up going the whole way and now have a court order in place, things are much better for myself and most importantly my children. It's even fair game to ask "Did anyone get in trouble or do anything funny today? " Sometimes the indirect approach works even better. The child's behavior is simply a projection of what both parents are feeling- tension, stress, frustration, resistance to change, the resistance to move forward and deal with the current situation. But if your child just needs some help priming the pump of conversation, try asking more specific, open-ended questions like "What did you work on in art class today? My son doesn't want to see me get. "
Remember that this is a phase. During conversations about his friend circle. 12 year old son suddenly doesn't want to see me - – – Legal Eagle – Forum. "The truth is that kids this age aren't pulling away from you, really. Im not punishing my wife and the children I live with by leaving them, as he has now phoned me in cahoots with his mum whose sat next to him and he is spouting out a load of lies about my wife and step son - to which my wife was horrified and upset, another thing is he had a massive attitude and was too busy laughing and joking with his mum?!
All kids need downtime after an intense day of learning and social drama. Last post: 26/09/2015 at 1:17 pm. 02-25-2021 12:09 PM. Both parents should be fighting together and not against each other to provide the best for their child. Say you suspect your son is playing games online instead of doing homework when he's over at a friend's house.
Although we haven't met in person, I have seen you floating in the water, jumped in my boat and I am sitting in the water beside you. He doesn't want to come down for dinner. Your child used to tell you about everything, from neighborhood-kid battles to the latest music fads. That's all very well when you're talking about simple stuff that doesn't matter like what you're going to eat for breakfast, but having your son turn his back on you is clearly in a different league. Suggests Cohen-Sandler. One of the most underrated aspects of helping your child live his best life is to have access to other parents who are non-judgmental and understanding of your situation.
He should not feel like he has to sit there and talk with you. D., a child psychologist in Hewlett, New York. 12 Learning Modules: Cover key concepts of gamer psychology, parent-child communication, and boundary-setting to create an alliance with your child. One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. There is no point in using neurotypical 'reason' to persuade him to see you as its not our reason and makes no sense to us. He has never in the whole 12 years been scared of me and I have never once given him reason to be. As an additional benefit it is a pre-requisite for family court applications - so if all else fails you will have moved 1 step closer to seeing your son. Here are the few tips that will help you understand his defensiveness and reconnect with your son: Allow Him His Space. But hang in there—this is usually just a phase. "Instead of interrogating your child, try a warm, low-key 'Hi! Not sure what other options are really available. Best place to start with that is to do the free test at This is remarkably useful and is from a very respectable source. At the moment he is dealing with a lot of issues, but if you give him time and space he will come to see that the problem doesn't lie with you. Just the fact that these articles exist makes me feel less isolated.